SubmarineKiteBoardJump-WEB-2Hair-raising or hazardous? Last week, Dan’s Papers, a satirical newspaper printed for Hamptons residents, reported that the Hamptons Police Department Submarine Unit arrested a kiter for attempting to jump over it’s deck during a training trip. “This kiteboarder must have been watching us for some time, tracking our movements and schedule, because he knew exactly where and when to make his jump,” said Hirsch, a Hampton Police Department representative. And while Hirsch refused to say whether the kiter landed his lofty jump, he acknowledged that several HPDSU officers were topside and saw the whole event as it unfolded before them.

Equipped with a GoPro strapped to his helmet and friends filming from a nearby boat, the kiter was clearly out to get some awe-inspiring footage. However, his attempts were a bust, and with the exception of the above screenshot, the Hamptons PD confiscated all recordings.

While the kiter’s initial jump was hazardous enough, to make matters even worse, unaware of the technicalities involved with kiting, the officers proceeded to subdue the kiter with a long-range taser. Hirsch joked, “I’d say he was pretty shocked too.” The PD joked about this, but their lack of kite comprehension could have complicated matters even more and resulted in a fatality.

Although this news came from Dan’s Papers, who often print fake stories for fun reading, the reality of this story is questionable, but the message remains the same. Taking risks and seeking thrills are part of the kiting game, but safety should always be on the radar. Some may think his jump was cool, but others might see it from a different perspective. While the media continue to pick up on the dangers of kiting, he’d do the jail time, but as kiters, we’d be held accountable.

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